1. Spend several days promising yourself that you’re really going to look up some starter recipes for what you want to make. Alternate this by thinking “I know how to cook mushrooms, dammit.” Ultimately find one (http://www.completelydelicious.com/2013/01/wild-mushroom-pie-with-parmesan-crust.html) and mostly ignore it for the rest of the process.
2. Take your grocery list, with your boyfriend in tow to the overpriced price chopper on the way to the airport. Try to convince yourself that just because you paid four dollars for an 8 oz bag of cranberries here last week doesn’t mean they’re set on price gouging you.
3. Yell across the practically empty price chopper about the weight of mushrooms.
4. Debate internally about the two dollar and fourty-nine cent container of fresh rosemary. Decide against it because rosemary is overpowering (you will later ignore this reminder).
5. Argue about the benefits of part-skim versus all-fat ricotta with your boyfriend. Cave when he reminds you that the all-fat is “just going to taste better.”
6. Start baking Wednesday afternoon in a kitchen full of people who are all planning much more elaborate dishes than you. Feel mildly inadequate, but remind yourself that you like mushrooms, and that’s all that matters (right?)
7. Distract yourself with the rosemary that someone has left on the corner, and convince yourself it’s a worthwhile addition to your pie. Conveniently forget that rosemary is overpowering and it’s going to mess up your garlic and leave little bits of rosemary interspersed in the pie.
8. Make your ricotta mixture. Eat your ricotta mixture.
9. Cook your mushrooms, and proceed to cook out too much of your wine. Add more until it seems like it’s about the right consistency.
10. Put together your pie, watching sadly as your lattice melts slowly into your still-steaming mushrooms. This is your fault and you knew it. It will taste fine. It will taste fine.
11. Continue to pull out the visible stems of rosemary as you place your pie in the oven.
12. Vow to omit the rosemary from the recipe.
13. Remove your pie from the oven. Look at it with a mixture of sadness and fondness as you are reminded that it will not be available to you for another 22 hours. Remind yourself sadly that Mission dining hall will have to do for tonight.
14. Make yourself sick on pie the next day.

 

2 ¼ cups flour

1 tsp salt

½ tsp pepper

⅓ cup parmesan cheese

2 sticks butter

ice water

 

½ cup heavy cream

1 head garlic

 

½ Tbsp. butter

1 Tbsp. olive oil

2 lbs mushrooms, mixed (crimini, portabella, shiitake)

5 oz pearl onions, ends trimmed and peeled

½ tsp. dried thyme

salt and pepper

1 cup red wine

2 Tbsp. flour

 

15 oz container of ricotta

1 egg

salt and pepper

½ tsp thyme

⅓ cup parmesan

 

  1 egg
In a small pan, insert heavy cream and a peeled head of garlic. Cover and simmer on low for around half an hour. After this time, strain and put any resulting liquid in with the mushrooms. Mush the garlic until it is a sort of paste and add to the ricotta.

Make your pie crust as normal, simply adding parmesan cheese to the flour mix. Shape into rounds (or rectangles) and place into the fridge, covered in clingwrap.

Clean and chop your mushrooms, varying your sizes. Place butter and oil into a large pan and allow butter to melt. Add your pearl mushrooms and saute until they are lightly colored. Add the prepared mushrooms along with ½ tsp dried thyme and salt and pepper to taste. Cook down until mushrooms are tender. Add in ⅔ cup red wine and continue to cook until almost all liquid is evaporated. Add in your flour, stirring to cover all mushrooms. Remove pan from heat. Add in last ⅓ cup of red wine and set mushrooms aside.

Mix together the ricotta, thyme, salt and pepper to taste, and parmesan. Remember to add garlic.

Roll out your pie crust, and your top lattice strips. Fill the crust first with the ricotta layer and then with the cooked mushrooms. Top with lattice, and brush with egg wash.

Bake at 425°F for 20 minutes, and then cover edges with tinfoil or silicone protectors. Bake for another 45 minutes at 350°F or until golden brown on all sides.

Allow to cool slightly and eat (preferably) that day.