In Factory Girls, Leslie Chang shares the story of women in the Chinese city of Dongguan who seek partners through the region’s largest dating agency: The Dongguan Making Friends Club. Among the various clients is a twenty-nine-year-old woman named Wu Chunming. Despite having previously been in a toxic and abusive relationship, Chunming still holds out for romance, hoping to meet someone who loves her and whom she can love. While there are people who marry purely for love, marriage largely remains a social arrangement in China, stemming from traditional views and societal expectations. Due to women’s social standing in China’s patriarchal system, rural Chinese societies traditionally viewed marriage as a mandatory rite of passage, an opportunity for greater social mobility, and a family affair. These beliefs are so deeply ingrained in Chinese culture that they have transcended into modern perceptions of marriages, making it hard for contemporary women to break away from tradition.
The basis of traditional views on marriage is that it is non-negotiable: every woman must get married. In Spring Grass, Spring Grass’s mother anticipated her daughter to marry out of the house since the day she was born. She started preparing her daughter’s dowry[1] around the age when most children started school and deeply believed that “having a girl’s just raising a moppet for someone else,”[2] meaning her daughter will one day belong to her husband’s family. When Spring Grass reached her teenage years, matchmakers and other townspeople would eagerly introduce her to suitors with the hopes that she will marry off soon. Despite proclaiming having no prospects for marriage,[3] she still got married to a man named Rivers Ho. Spring Grass’s marriage signifies that marriage is an inevitable fate for women, and it is extremely difficult to escape this tradition. Likewise, in the documentary Leftover Women, 34-year-old Qiu Huamei continues to go on dates looking for a marriage partner due to familial and societal pressure. Although she believes she can rise above the stigma surrounding “leftover women,” she still lives under immense pressure and in a constant fight all because she is not married.[4] Her struggle between personal aspirations and societal expectations again proves that marriage cannot be rejected. The Chinese government also echoes this notion of marriage by hosting annual blind date events as it views declining marriage and fertility rates as a threat to social stability. [5]
Furthermore, women were expected to marry someone of equal or higher status in traditional Chinese society. Hypergamy, the act whereby women marry men of superior social, socioeconomic, and/or educational backgrounds, was practiced as a means for women to gain social mobility. Women often married men from more prosperous families, men who are more economically established, and men with an urban hukou because it would allow them to experience the same socially desirable conditions.[6] Similar practices of marrying men from a superior background is demonstrated in Spring Grass. Spring Grass’s mother “was satisfied to no end”[7] when a woodworker from a very wealthy family came to court Spring Grass. Her mother wanted her to marry this man because money meant economic stability and a better quality of life for the entire family. However, when Spring Grass brought home Rivers Ho, whose family is poor, her mother firmly disapproved because she did not want her daughter to lead a poor, tiring life after marriage. Some townspeople, “who would huff disparagingly,”[8] also disapproved as Spring Grass was breaking societal norms by marrying someone below her family’s status. In the present day, a variation of hypergamy still exists as women generally desire to marry men with a stable career, high educational background, and property.[9] These attributes signify stability for women and they stem from traditional views of marriage in rural Chinese societies.
Moreover, marriage is a family affair. It is never contingent on women’s individual decisions. Parents are heavily involved in the process because they want what is best for their children and it is never assessed on the premise of love. With Spring Grass, her mother plays a huge role in her marriage prospects by voicing her opinion on the suitors. Similarly, in Leftover Women, Xu Min’s mother, who resides in the city of Beijing, dictates her daughter’s relationship by rejecting men whom she deems are not good enough for her daughter. Parents are heavily involved in their children’s marriage regardless of the distinction between urban and rural because “marriage is a business between two families.”[10] Traditionally, marriage was strictly a business transaction that pertained to the transfer of property ownership. In the Chinese village of Shouting Hill, marriage was utilized as a transaction to allow for reproduction: “wives are bought with the currency of female blood kin.”[11] In other words, female family members were exchanged in order to have children and continue the bloodline of each respective family. Since marriages have been historically practiced in this way, certain attitudes still remain. To an extent, families get involved and their opinions are valued to ensure that the marriage is mutually beneficial. The current views of marriage continue to reflect some of the nuances of rural Chinese societies.
A deeper analysis of gender and social dynamics reveals that traditional rural views on marriage are mainly a response to China’s patriarchal society. In Chinese agrarian society, since men worked outside of the house to financially support their family and women stayed behind to manage home life, women’s economic independence was greatly disadvantaged as it was nearly nonexistent. They relied heavily on men for financial support so marriage was quintessential for women to remain supported, which is why a traditional view of marriage is that women must get married. Since social mobility is closely connected to financial status, marriage was one of the most tangible ways for women to move up in social ranking. Consequently, Chinese rural society practiced hypergamy. Women often married men from wealthier families, men who are more economically established, and men with an urban hukou because these were indicators of prosperity and mobility. Next, families often got involved with marriage because parents often wanted what’s best for their children. Since women held the “comparative advantage”[12] in reproduction and domestic work, they were able to leverage this in choosing a marriage partner, and parents often inserted their opinion to ensure the best choice was made. Gender discrimination in China’s male-dominated society has turned marriage into a mere transaction between husbands and wives.
As women are given more opportunities and greater mobility in modern China, it is expected that they no longer uphold some of the traditional marriage views. However, those views continue to persist because gender roles and societal expectations largely remain unchanged. The three women in the film Leftover Women all received an education and have a stable job, but they still face the pressure of marriage from family and society. They also practice finding men with greater qualities and involving their family in their process. The existence of these practices in contemporary society illustrates how established traditional marital views are.
However, at the same time, there are women who are challenging these conventions despite their persistence. Qiu Huamei, who struggled heavily with martial pressures, ultimately decided to live for herself and not conform to societal expectations. Rather than settling for a man and getting married, she left the country to study in France to advance her knowledge and career. Given her age (thirty-four years old), this decision makes finding a partner and bearing children in the future much more difficult. She is conscious of this fact but still chose what she wanted. Likewise, Wu Chunming pursues relationships based on feelings and not superficial qualifications such as a person’s education, career, and salary. She is challenging traditional practices of marriage by choosing love and abandoning social practices of hypergamy. These women are paving the path for future women and minimizing the weight of traditional marital views.
Thus, there is hope for Chinese women to live in a society where traditional views of marriage as being non-negotiable, hypergamous, and family-oriented are not forced upon. Newfound opportunities and the courage of precedent women will redefine marriage and women’s position in China’s patriarchal social structure. In the case of Spring Grass, although she marries Rivers Ho, she challenged tradition and societal expectations by marrying a younger man from a poor family at the age of twenty-four out of love. It is difficult to escape the traditional views of marriage for women, but small triumphs along the way will lead to a big victory for women in future generations.
Citations & References
[1] Shanshan Qiu, Spring Grass (Ohio: National East Asian Languages Resource Center, 2016), 3.2.
[2] Qiu, Spring Grass, 1.6.
[3] Qiu, Spring Grass, 6.3.
[4] Leftover Women, directed by Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia (2019; Israel: MetFilm Sales).
[5] Leftover Women, directed by Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia (2019; Israel: MetFilm Sales).
[6] Yan Wei and Li Zhang, “Understanding Hypergamous Marriages of Chinese Rural Women,” Population Research and Policy Review 35, no. 6: 877, https://doi.org/10.1007/s11113-016-9407-z.
[7] Qiu, Spring Grass, 6.3.
[8] Qiu, Spring Grass, 10.2.
[9] Leftover Women, directed by Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia (2019; Israel: MetFilm Sales).
[10] ibid
[11] Xinran, “The Women of Shouting Hill,” in The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices, translated by Esther Tyldesley (New York: Pantheon Book, 2002), 233.
[12] Yan Wei and Li Zhang, “Understanding Hypergamous Marriages of Chinese Rural Women,” 879.
[1] Shanshan Qiu, Spring Grass (Ohio: National East Asian Languages Resource Center, 2016), 3.2.
[2] Qiu, Spring Grass, 1.6.
[3] Qiu, Spring Grass, 6.3.
[4] Leftover Women, directed by Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia (2019; Israel: MetFilm Sales).
[5] Leftover Women, directed by Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia (2019; Israel: MetFilm Sales).
[6] Yan Wei and Li Zhang, “Understanding Hypergamous Marriages of Chinese Rural Women,” Population Research and Policy Review 35, no. 6: 877, https://doi.org/10.1007/s11113-016-9407-z.
[7] Qiu, Spring Grass, 6.3.
[8] Qiu, Spring Grass, 10.2.
[9] Leftover Women, directed by Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia (2019; Israel: MetFilm Sales).
[10] ibid
[11] Xinran, “The Women of Shouting Hill,” in The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices, translated by Esther Tyldesley (New York: Pantheon Book, 2002), 233.
[12] Yan Wei and Li Zhang, “Understanding Hypergamous Marriages of Chinese Rural Women,” 879.