Reflections on Grad School – Ashwin Narayan ’16

Ashwin Narayan ’16 left Williams with a math and physics degree and found himself in graduate school with little idea of what he was doing. Somehow, he’s muddled his way into his second year of a PhD in applied math at MIT, and he’ll keep going as long as the administration lets him.  Here are his reflections on his first year in graduate school.

The realization that my first year of graduate school had ended only really hit me when I returned from vacation and had to fumble with the keys to my new (and empty) office. The “ziggurat,” a wonderful open-plan maze of cubicles and chalkboards, my home for the last year, was already occupied by the new batch of first-years. The first thought that occured to me was that I’d have to update my Tinder profile: “First year grad student pretending I know things but really subscribing to the ‘fake it til you make it’ doctrine.” As a first-year, impostor syndrome is cute and funny; as a second-year, maybe it’s worrying and sad. With qualifying exams coming up in January, maybe it’s no longer a good idea to answer, “I’m not sure yet …” when someone asks you, “So what type of math do you do?” It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the monumentality of the upcoming challenges, and reflection has always been my way to cope. It’s comforting to look back on what you once thought would be impossible but ended up being completely feasible.

Two years ago, I entered my senior year at Williams with unprecedented levels of self-confidence. The previous semester, I had thrived in Budapest, proving to myself that (a) I could survive in the real world (i.e. without a dining hall) and (b) maybe I was actually decent at math. Then there was a very productive and enjoyable REU experience over the summer which ended with tantalizing whispers of a potential publication. The next steps were obvious: write a thesis that revolutionizes the field, take some more hard classes, go to graduate school next year, draped in flying colors. Then repeat steps one and two. But of course, we remember Of Mice and Men, and this wasn’t even a particularly well-laid plan.

My first indication that I had perhaps over-simplified my future was the GRE subject test in mathematics. After years at Williams, I had forgotten that standardized multiple-choice exams existed, especially in math. I lived for partial credit. And apparently I was pretty terrible at calculus. Getting fewer than half of the questions correct on an exam ostensibly meant to evaluate my competence in the subject I majored in was already demoralizing. But then I stumbled upon this truly awful website where applicants from previous years listed their biodata and the schools they got into. Students who appeared far more qualified than me were getting rejected from schools far less selective than the ones I had set my sights on. Blog posts told me that graduate school was a waste of time unless I was absolutely certain I wanted to go into academia. How could anyone expect a liberal arts student to be absolutely certain about anything? At this point I wasn’t even certain which majors I would be finishing at Williams.

Writing statements of interest compounded the existential dread. Why did I want to go to grad school? Why applied math? What areas of math was I interested in? How was I qualified to attend this program? I couldn’t possibly use the actual answer to those questions. I wanted to go to grad school because I wasn’t ready to go into the real world and couldn’t pay for law or medical school. Applied math because it seemed the most versatile discipline and thus a way to postpone any real decision making. But because I hadn’t actually taken any applied math classes, I had no idea what areas I was actually interested in. And thus I felt in no way qualified for any of the programs I was applying to.

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A Guide to Applying to Math Graduate School 4 – Megumi Asada ’17

Megumi Asada ’17, a former AWM officer, wrote the following short guide to applying to graduate school in math from Williams. They are currently teaching high school math through a teaching nonprofit called Blue Engine. The following year, they will be studying math at Cambridge on a Herchel Smith Fellowship. Feel free to contact them with questions!

I’ve found that a lot of information about applying has been word-of-mouth and can often feel like privileged information among those already in math circles or those who have “an in” at prestigious graduate departments. I thought that it might be helpful to share my experience of navigating the application process as a complete beginner.

  1. Creating a list & getting motivated
  2. Preparing for & taking the exams
  3. Applying & writing applications
  4. Costs & financing
  5. Visiting grad schools

4. COSTS & FINANCING

Funding Opportunities:

Within Williams

  • Allison Davis/Mellon Mays:
    • Can get various application fees waived (check individual school websites)
    • Typically Williams funds a van for each cohort to take the GRE
  • The Career Center’s Graduate School Grant
    • Max $500 in funding; need to submit quick form with cost estimates

Big Academic Alliance: very quick application for fee waivers for U.S. citizens to a decent number of schools; may have priority application deadline:

Participating Schools as of Spring 2017:

  • University of Chicago
  • University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
  • Indiana University
  • University of Iowa
  • University of Maryland
  • University of Michigan
  • Michigan State University
  • University of Minnesota
  • University of Nebraska-Lincoln
  • Northwestern University
  • Ohio State (otherwise $5 app fee)
  • Pennsylvania State University
  • Purdue University
  • Rutgers University

Some of the schools above will ask you to individually apply to a fee waiver at their school. Some will waive based on participation in certain groups or scholarships including but by no means limited to: Gates Millennium Scholars, SACNAS, ADRF/MMURF, SMALL, MARC, McNair, Howard Hughes, COR Program; as well as students with demonstrated need on Pell Grants or via FAFSA/CSS profile.

Costs:

  • GRE General Exam: $205
  • GRE Math Subject Exam: $150 ($300 if you take it twice)
  • Application Costs to Individual Schools: $70-90/school

Less Obvious Costs:

  • Transport to and from exam sites
  • Sending scores to schools

Visiting Grad Schools – Megumi Asada ’17

Megumi Asada ’17, a former AWM officer, wrote the following post while visiting graduate schools in spring of 2017. They are currently teaching high school math through a teaching nonprofit called Blue Engine. The following year, they will be studying math at Cambridge on a Herchel Smith Fellowship. Feel free to contact them with questions!

While traveling for a grad school visit it dawned on me that most of what I’ve learned about the application/admission process for math PhD programs has been by word of mouth. It’s a stressful process with many components. Another senior from Williams mentioned how it’s a shame that those of us struggling through this mostly kept to ourselves when we could’ve suffered together.

I hope this can serve as a first (baby) step in demystifying this process for anyone who’s considering math grad school and for those who are just curious.

Sitting at the airport the day before the visiting students day was really bizarre. My imposter syndrome was on overdrive to the point where it was kind of funny. It felt as though my name would one day rise in the ranks of infamy among the other renowned large-scale con artists. There’s an art, I guess, to being a sleepy, unprepared twenty-something on your way to visit a school where you may one day get a PhD.

I was pretty nervous about my meetings with faculty. It had taken me long enough to be convinced that I could go to my Williams professors for advice. Something about being in a new space with people who work with PhD students made me feel especially unworthy of these peoples’ time. Thankfully, none of them had expected me to understand their research beforehand. Despite my efforts, reading lists of cryptic publication titles more frightened than excited me.

For most of the day I wasn’t in the best mood, as I wasn’t feeling particularly drawn to any specific research topic from my first few faculty meetings.  When asked, I called myself a geometry/topology person, but this started to feel like an elaborate lie, as there’s definitely some geometry and topology out there that I don’t care for.

I got lucky with my third faculty meeting where I was introduced to a really cool problem in random matrix theory. This was weird for me because typically the word “matrix” elicits a deep visceral cringe. It was a kind reminder of what it feels like when something new just clicks and captivates you.

Afterwards I had a really nice conversation with another student from another small liberal arts college about feeling intimidated by students from large universities with accredited graduate programs. Some exchanged inside jokes amongst themselves about famous mathematicians they’ve met. For me, it served as a reminder that I’m but a potential guest in this elite, old boys club. Still, it was really nice to hear from other people who felt like they didn’t belong among the scary people.

I wish I could say that the visiting day I went to was the best thing ever, that the gods bestowed upon me all the rays of light and confidence I could wish for, but that wasn’t how things went. It was mostly stressful and overwhelming, but there were good bits and moments when friends and complete strangers took the time to affirm me and my concerns.

For now, I’ll have to remain undecided on how I’ll be spending the next few years. Wishing the best of luck to other seniors scrambling to figure out their post-graduate plans.

A Guide to Applying to Math Graduate School 2 – Megumi Asada ’17

Megumi Asada ’17, a former AWM officer, wrote the following short guide to applying to graduate school in math from Williams. They are currently teaching high school math through a teaching nonprofit called Blue Engine. The following year, they will be studying math at Cambridge on a Herchel Smith Fellowship. Feel free to contact them with questions!

I’ve found that a lot of information about applying has been word-of-mouth and can often feel like privileged information among those already in math circles or those who have “an in” at prestigious graduate departments. I thought that it might be helpful to share my experience of navigating the application process as a complete beginner.

  1. Creating a list & getting motivated
  2. Preparing for & taking the exams
  3. Applying & writing applications
  4. Costs & financing
  5. Visiting grad schools

2. PREPARING FOR & TAKING THE EXAMS

 PART A: Exams are fun if you can effectively fool yourself

There are a lot of practice exams available online!  Note that the mGRE gets harder each year (-___-), so don’t count on doing as well on the current exam as you might do on the ones from the 1980s.

ETS provides a free practice booklet online.  Here is the counterpart to this booklet from 1997-1999.  Here are some old exams:

If you want a systematic review of topics, here is a GRE course by a professor at UCSB.  There is also usually a Princeton Review GRE book lying around Bronfman (I guess Bascom now?).

PART B: The not-so-exciting logistical details

 Right from the Horse’s Mouth: Test Centers and Dates: https://www.ets.org/gre/subject/register/centers_dates/

Centers near Williams:

  • RPI, Troy, NY: about an hour away
  • SUNY Albany: also about an hour away
    • NB: The location of the testing room is kind of obscure. Look for a large courtyard with a fountain in the middle. Go down the stairs to the lower level where the fountain originates and the room is in that area. If it’s your first time testing here, recommend giving yourself at least 30min extra to find the testing center.

How to get there:

  • College van: if you sign up very early in advance (read: months ahead), you can get a college van for free. Ask the math department about sponsoring this. You cannot get a college van as an individual
  • Zip Car: moderately pricey for one person; sometimes unreliable; make sure to sign up for your rental a few weeks in advance and schedule your rental so that you can check to see if there are any issues with the car. The great thing about zipcar is that car insurance is included should anything go wrong.
    • Some have had experiences with stolen keys, malfunctioning lock system, etc.
  • Borrow a friend’s car: great and cost-effective as long as you don’t get into an accident. Insurance is NOT covered should anything go wrong.

Make sure to bring:

  1. Suitable identification (driver’s license or passport, though if you are an international student you need to bring your passport)
  2. Testing details
  3. A #2 pencil for the scantron sheets (this is for the subject test and for the general paper tests; most general GRE exams are on the computer)
  4. A water bottle
  5. Snacks
  6. All relevant information and/or meds if you will receive accommodations

Disability Accommodations:

If you receive accommodations of any sort at Williams, you can get them for the GRE as well!  For a basic overview, check out ETS’s page on disability accommodations.

There is a large range of accommodations. For those with testing anxiety or chronic illness, you may request extra time (double time, time and a half, etc.) and/or testing breaks.  If the only accommodations you request are 50% extra time and/or extra breaks, you will only need to submit a form from G.L. Wallace certifying that you receive these accommodations at Williams; otherwise, you also need to provide medical documentation.

Be sure to apply for disability accommodations far in advance (i.e. potentially weeks to months in advance of the sign up deadline).  It generally takes ETS 6 weeks to process applications, and it can take longer if you need additional documentation. You’ll need to give a form to G.L. Wallace in the Office of Accessible Education. The application is entirely online. Feel free to call and haggle them if they’re taking a long time to get back to you. This may speed up the process.

Feel free to email Megumi Asada (they/them, Williams ’17) with any questions about this process.