Ashwin Narayan ’16 left Williams with a math and physics degree and found himself in graduate school with little idea of what he was doing. Somehow, he’s muddled his way into his second year of a PhD in applied math at MIT, and he’ll keep going as long as the administration lets him. Here are his reflections on his first year in graduate school.
The realization that my first year of graduate school had ended only really hit me when I returned from vacation and had to fumble with the keys to my new (and empty) office. The “ziggurat,” a wonderful open-plan maze of cubicles and chalkboards, my home for the last year, was already occupied by the new batch of first-years. The first thought that occured to me was that I’d have to update my Tinder profile: “First year grad student pretending I know things but really subscribing to the ‘fake it til you make it’ doctrine.” As a first-year, impostor syndrome is cute and funny; as a second-year, maybe it’s worrying and sad. With qualifying exams coming up in January, maybe it’s no longer a good idea to answer, “I’m not sure yet …” when someone asks you, “So what type of math do you do?” It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the monumentality of the upcoming challenges, and reflection has always been my way to cope. It’s comforting to look back on what you once thought would be impossible but ended up being completely feasible.
Two years ago, I entered my senior year at Williams with unprecedented levels of self-confidence. The previous semester, I had thrived in Budapest, proving to myself that (a) I could survive in the real world (i.e. without a dining hall) and (b) maybe I was actually decent at math. Then there was a very productive and enjoyable REU experience over the summer which ended with tantalizing whispers of a potential publication. The next steps were obvious: write a thesis that revolutionizes the field, take some more hard classes, go to graduate school next year, draped in flying colors. Then repeat steps one and two. But of course, we remember Of Mice and Men, and this wasn’t even a particularly well-laid plan.
My first indication that I had perhaps over-simplified my future was the GRE subject test in mathematics. After years at Williams, I had forgotten that standardized multiple-choice exams existed, especially in math. I lived for partial credit. And apparently I was pretty terrible at calculus. Getting fewer than half of the questions correct on an exam ostensibly meant to evaluate my competence in the subject I majored in was already demoralizing. But then I stumbled upon this truly awful website where applicants from previous years listed their biodata and the schools they got into. Students who appeared far more qualified than me were getting rejected from schools far less selective than the ones I had set my sights on. Blog posts told me that graduate school was a waste of time unless I was absolutely certain I wanted to go into academia. How could anyone expect a liberal arts student to be absolutely certain about anything? At this point I wasn’t even certain which majors I would be finishing at Williams.
Writing statements of interest compounded the existential dread. Why did I want to go to grad school? Why applied math? What areas of math was I interested in? How was I qualified to attend this program? I couldn’t possibly use the actual answer to those questions. I wanted to go to grad school because I wasn’t ready to go into the real world and couldn’t pay for law or medical school. Applied math because it seemed the most versatile discipline and thus a way to postpone any real decision making. But because I hadn’t actually taken any applied math classes, I had no idea what areas I was actually interested in. And thus I felt in no way qualified for any of the programs I was applying to.
Of course, things worked out in the end, but I wanted to describe the process in such excruciating detail to help you understand my mindset as I started grad school last year. I truly felt that I had no right to be there, and, worse, sooner or later everyone around me was going to come to the same conclusion. I was often lost when the other students would discuss the math they were interested in, citing theorems that everyone clearly knew but I had never heard of or had completely forgotten. To be honest, I still don’t really know what cohomology is or what representation theorists actually study. When professors described their research, I nodded along, but the whole time would be thinking, “Will I ever be this passionate about anything?” At Williams, they always told us that even though the others would know more math than we did, our liberal arts background taught us “how to learn” and that we would have better “depth of understanding.” Now, I have absolutely no regrets about going to Williams and push everyone I know towards small liberal arts schools, but I honestly still have no idea what it means to know “how to learn” and I’m starting to think that maybe I skipped that unit at Williams.
I can’t say that I’ve “overcome” this mentality, but I have found that I can live with it. I now tell myself, Maybe they did make a mistake in admitting me. But I’m here now and it’s too late for them to change their mind. If I can’t convince myself that I deserve to be here, the next best option is to accept that I’m already here regardless. In some sense it’s a meaningless distinction, but we learn in linear algebra that simply rotating our perspective on a problem often makes it far easier to solve. And one thing I did take from Williams is that when push comes to shove, I am willing and able to work as hard as necessary. Hopefully that will be enough.
Thus, despite my many insecurities, I had an extremely productive and enjoyable first year. Once you swallow your pride and accept that almost everyone around you knows more math than you do, you quickly realize how much of an advantage this is. Everyone is so absurdly excited to discuss the things they’re interested in that even innocent bystanders can’t help but get drawn into the enthusiasm. I was relieved that my fellow grad students were more than willing to explain the concepts I didn’t understand, and I learned as much from them as I did from my classes. One of the most striking differences from Williams was the sheer volume of events and seminars and projects and reading groups and classes. Every day the biggest names in various fields are giving talks, research groups are discussing dozens of fascinating projects, classmates are coming up with breakthroughs.
For me this meant that I spent the first semester just trying to figure out what applied math even meant. What was I interested in? In the true liberal arts spirit, I muddled my way into statistics, a field I knew nothing about and never expected to find myself in. Surprisingly, I never felt that this was a problem because the department seemed almost to encourage this experimentation in a way I never expected to be able to in graduate school. For the entire first year, there was absolutely no administrative pressure to decide on an advisor or even a research area. I took classes in quantum computing, (pure) probability, theoretical computer science, machine learning, computational biology, and Bayesian inference. After a year of happily wandering the state space of topics in applied mathematics, I found myself drawn to what I hope will become my research area: developing inference algorithms for analyzing biological data.
Graduate school is starkly different than the undergraduate experience. I needed this to be the case because I don’t think I could have survived another five years of Williams. Graduate school is, for me, an occupation. And even though it’s certainly not a traditional 9-5, this transition has been extremely important. Classes are less important, problem sets are shorter and less frequent, and the focus is on research. There are no dining halls, there’s an apartment to maintain, professional friends to stay in touch with. In other words, there is life outside of school, and it is important. I’m able to emphasize my physical and mental health in a way I never did at Williams. I didn’t realize how much Williams had consumed me until around halfway through last year, when I found myself feeling just healthy, a result of focusing on eating healthily, exercising regularly, and sleeping. This is not everyone’s graduate school experience, but I am utterly thankful that it has been mine.
The existential questions still nag though. As my relatives always ask, What are you going to do with a degree in math? I love working on difficult research problems, but with so many pressing issues in the world, I often wonder if research in mathematics is my long-term calling. For example, the lack of diversity in the math department and in STEM departments across the country is still staggering, and perhaps I should leverage my privilege and go into science policy. We have an administration in place that refuses to treat climate change with the seriousness it requires, so maybe I need to be putting my efforts into fighting global warming. Or maybe I just need to persuade myself that I am good enough at math that I could pursue a worthwhile career in research. The best part of being in a PhD program is that I have four more years to figure it out.
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If you’re a student navigating the ‘existential dread’ Ashwin mentions, finding a stress-relief hobby is vital. You should definitely check out Painting4Real. Their video-guided painting kits are designed to be accessible for everyone, making them a perfect ‘low-stakes’ creative break from the high-stakes world of qualifying exams and research. It’s a great way to maintain that healthy balance Ashwin talked about while creating something beautiful!
I really enjoyed reading Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school—it’s refreshing to see both the challenges and the growth opportunities laid out so honestly. I liked how he emphasized not just academics, but also networking, self-discipline, and learning to balance priorities, which makes the experience feel relatable for anyone considering or in grad school. It reminded me a bit of Nimipäivä tänään, where pausing to reflect on milestones—even stressful ones—can turn them into meaningful learning moments. Looking back, which part of grad school does Ashwin suggest had the biggest impact on his personal or professional growth?
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I really enjoyed reading that reflection—grad school often seems like a straight academic path, but hearing about the personal growth, challenges, and new perspectives makes it feel much more real and relatable. What stood out to me is how those experiences don’t just shape careers but also change the way people see themselves and the world. It reminded me a bit of Roja Directa 2025, which is also about adapting and evolving to meet new demands while keeping the core passion alive. Do you think grad school experiences shape people more professionally or personally in the long run?
Muy interesante esa reflexión, porque leer experiencias personales de alguien que ya pasó por grad school da una perspectiva mucho más real que cualquier guía oficial. A mí me pasa algo parecido cuando veo partidos en Futbol Libre TV: más allá de los titulares, lo que realmente te engancha son las vivencias y matices que no se ven a simple vista. ¿Tú buscas más inspiración en testimonios personales o en consejos prácticos a la hora de prepararte para algo tan grande como la grad school?
Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school must be so insightful—it’s always interesting to hear how someone balances the challenges of academics with personal growth and the lessons they carry forward. It reminds me of how I feel watching football on **Futbol Libre TV**—you see not just the skills on display, but also the resilience and learning that happen behind the scenes. Do you think grad school teaches more about the subject itself, or about navigating life and challenges along the way?
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Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school are really insightful—it’s interesting to read about the challenges and growth that come with higher education. I’ve noticed that some online platforms offering exclusive academic advice sometimes try to request payments via Bizum, which can be risky. Personally, I prefer using trusted university or alumni resources. Have you found any grad school reflections or guides that are both helpful and free from these payment traps?
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I appreciate how Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school capture both the challenges and the growth that come with that journey—it’s a mix of perseverance and discovery. It reminds me of *Serpiente de Google*, where each twist and turn leads to new insights you might not expect. What part of grad school do you think teaches you the most—academic work or the life experiences around it?
I liked how Ashwin Narayan’s reflection on grad school balanced the academic journey with the personal growth that comes from adapting to new challenges and environments. It’s clear that success wasn’t just about mastering coursework, but also about building resilience — a lot like navigating the “Serpiente de Google,” where persistence and adaptability often matter more than any single tactic. It made me think about how each step in education shapes long-term perspective. What’s one skill or mindset you think grad school uniquely strengthens compared to undergrad?
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Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school offer valuable insights into the challenges and growth that come with advanced study. His thoughts on balancing research, personal life, and future goals resonate with many who’ve faced similar journeys. It reminds me of the “Serpiente de Google,” where persistence and adaptability are key to navigating complex paths. What was the most surprising lesson you learned during your own graduate experience?
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Ashwin Narayan ’16 shares honest and insightful reflections on his grad school journey—highlighting both the academic rigor and the personal growth it fostered. His experiences underscore the importance of resilience, curiosity, and finding balance beyond just grades and research. A motivating read for anyone considering the grad school path.
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La reflexión de Ashwin Narayan sobre la escuela de posgrado fue realmente inspiradora. Me gustó cómo habló con honestidad sobre los retos y aprendizajes más allá del aula, especialmente el crecimiento personal que surge en medio del caos académico. Justo después de revisar los namaz timing en Karachi, suelo leer este tipo de textos para conectar con algo más profundo, y esta reflexión encajó perfecto. ¿Tú también usas esos momentos de calma para pensar en tu propio camino y evolución?
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Your piece on *Reflections on Grad School – Ashwin Narayan ’16* was genuinely thoughtful and relatable — I admired the honesty in his journey through academic pressure, growth, and self-discovery. It’s comforting to hear someone reflect so candidly on both the struggles and the small victories of grad school life. It reminded me of flipping through old campus photos and how, even in the messiest moments, there’s beauty and growth worth preserving — something Remini MOD APK is great for when restoring those worn-out, low-quality shots from that time. Have you ever looked back at a particular photo from grad school that suddenly made all the stress feel worth it?
Ashwin Narayan’s grad school reflection is both insightful and motivating. His experience emphasizes the real value of persistence, critical thinking, and adaptability qualities that resonate deeply with both academic and professional growth. We believe in the same mindset: continuous learning and evolving strategies are key to staying ahead in the digital world. Great read!”
Me encantaron las reflexiones de Ashwin Narayan sobre la experiencia de la escuela de posgrado. Su forma honesta de hablar sobre los altibajos, el crecimiento personal y académico me pareció muy relatable. Es como cuando usas Remini MOD APK para ver con más claridad una imagen antigua—grad school también te ayuda a reenfocar quién eres y hacia dónde vas. ¿Qué parte de su experiencia te resonó más a ti?
Loved reading your reflections, Ashwin. Grad school is truly a transformative experience, and your insights capture that perfectly. It’s inspiring to see how your journey continues to create an impact—especially in fields digital marketing where innovation and adaptability are key. Wishing you continued success ahead!”
Ashwin’s reflections really resonated with me—grad school can be a whirlwind of growth, doubt, and unexpected clarity. His honesty about the ups and downs felt like opening a new window into a world many experience but few articulate so well. It’s almost like the Rituals Adventskalender: each day reveals something small but meaningful that adds to the bigger journey. What was your biggest surprise during your own time in school or professional training?
Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school were refreshingly honest and insightful—his perspective on the highs and lows, and how the journey shapes more than just academic growth, really resonated. It reminded me of how the Rituals Adventskalender unfolds—each day revealing a new lesson or gift, some delightful, some challenging, but all part of a bigger picture. What’s one lesson from your own academic or professional journey that you carry with you daily?
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Qué inspirador ver cómo el Student Chapter en Williams College está creando espacios de crecimiento, conexión y aprendizaje fuera del aula. Iniciativas como esta no solo fortalecen habilidades profesionales, sino también el sentido de comunidad entre los estudiantes. Me recordó lo fundamental que es tener acceso a recursos confiables y organizados, como el **Tarjetón IMSS** lo es para los trabajadores en México, ya que ambos promueven autonomía y responsabilidad en la gestión de la propia información. ¿Qué tipo de eventos o actividades planean próximamente para seguir impulsando la participación estudiantil?
Reading *Reflections on Grad School – Ashwin Narayan ’16* felt like catching up with a thoughtful old friend who’s been through the academic wringer and come out wiser. I appreciated Ashwin’s honest take on the emotional ups and downs of grad school—the excitement of learning, the frustration of research dead ends, and the quiet victories that often go unnoticed. It’s that same rollercoaster you sometimes feel watching a close football match on Pirlo TV—long stretches of tension punctuated by sudden breakthroughs. Do you think Ashwin’s reflections might help current students feel less alone in their journey?
I really enjoyed reading about the Student Chapter at Williams College—there’s something so energizing about students coming together to share ideas, tackle real-world challenges, and build leadership from the ground up. It’s inspiring to see such initiative in action, especially when it involves collaboration across disciplines. It made me think of how platforms like NV Casino could engage student communities, maybe through design contests or internships that let young minds contribute to real-world gaming innovation. Do you think partnerships between online platforms and college chapters could spark fresh, responsible innovation in digital entertainment?
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Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school were so honest and relatable—the mix of intellectual challenge, self-discovery, and occasional doubt really resonated. It reminded me that growth often happens in the messy middle, not just in the achievements. That balance between discipline and flexibility is something I also appreciate in apps like Magis TV APK, where you get to curate your own viewing experience based on mood or interest—no rigid schedules, just meaningful choices. Did any part of Ashwin’s journey remind you of your own academic
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This piece by Ashwin Narayan ’16 really captures the highs and lows of grad school with refreshing honesty—juggling research, deadlines, and the constant quest for balance is something so many of us can relate to. I found it especially meaningful how he emphasizes community—whether it’s mentors, peers, or even casual coffee chats—to sustain motivation through the grind. It reminded me of how, after long days of study or work, I often unwind on Photocall TV by catching international news or lighthearted shows to recharge and feel connected beyond my bubble. How did you stay grounded or find little moments of escape during your own grad school experience?
Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school really resonated with me—it’s refreshing to hear such an honest take on the academic journey, especially the mix of excitement, self-doubt, and discovery. I liked how he touched on not just the challenges but also the importance of community and staying curious. It reminded me of using a Slotpark Bonus Code—you start off unsure, but with the right boosts and support, the experience becomes way more rewarding than expected. Did anything in Ashwin’s story remind you of your own educational path or a turning point in your career?
Ashwin’s reflections were both honest and inspiring—I appreciated the way he shared not just the achievements, but also the uncertainties and learning curves that came with grad school. It felt so relatable, especially the part about finding balance and growing through discomfort. It reminded me of those quiet moments after Fajr Time in Karachi, when you’re alone with your thoughts and can truly reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re going. Do you think those early morning hours helped shape your own path during intense academic phases?
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Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school were truly insightful—his honesty about the academic rigor, self-discovery, and the unexpected life lessons made this piece so relatable and grounding. I loved how he connected personal growth with intellectual challenge; it’s a reminder that the grad school journey is as much about evolving as a person as it is about mastering a subject. It made me think about how watching documentaries and educational programs on platforms like Photocall TV can also spark that kind of introspective learning outside the classroom. Has Ashwin shared any specific books, shows, or habits that helped him navigate those intense moments in grad school?
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I really appreciated Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school—the honesty about challenges and growth felt so genuine. It’s inspiring how he highlights the importance of resilience and staying curious, even when things get tough. It reminded me a bit of how Magis TV APK offers a wide range of educational and motivational content that can keep you inspired during demanding times. What’s one lesson from your own grad school experience that you still carry with you today?
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I really appreciated your deep dive into the Association for Women in Mathematics (AWM)—it’s inspiring to see how this organization has been championing gender equity in the mathematical sciences since 1971. Their initiatives, like the Sonia Kovalevsky Days, play a crucial role in encouraging young girls to explore and pursue mathematics. The AWM’s commitment to fostering a supportive community is evident in their extensive programs and outreach efforts. It made me think about how platforms like Photocall TV could amplify such efforts by featuring documentaries or interviews that highlight the journeys of women in STEM fields. Such content could inspire a broader audience and shed light on the importance of diversity in mathematics. Have you come across any media or programs that effectively showcase the contributions of women in mathematics?
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**Reflections on Grad School – Ashwin Narayan ’16 (Short Summary):**
Ashwin Narayan, a 2016 graduate, reflects on his journey through grad school, emphasizing the intellectual challenges and growth he experienced. He highlights how the rigorous academic environment pushed him to develop critical thinking and research skills. Ashwin also shares the importance of mentorship, collaboration, and staying resilient during tough times. Overall, grad school was a transformative period that shaped his personal and professional path.
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Ashwin Narayan ’16 reflects on his journey through grad school, sharing insights on balancing academic challenges, personal growth, and career aspirations. His experience highlights the value of perseverance, mentorship, and embracing opportunities for learning beyond the classroom.
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This sounds like an amazing initiative! Encouraging women in mathematics creates a stronger, more inclusive community—kind of like how Freddy’s brings people together over a shared love of great food. What kind of events or mentorship opportunities does the chapter offer?
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✅ **Supporting & promoting women in mathematics**
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Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on grad school likely explore the challenges, growth, and lessons learned during his academic journey. Graduate school often involves rigorous coursework, research demands, and personal development. His insights may touch on navigating complex subjects, balancing work-life commitments, and the importance of mentorship and resilience. Such reflections provide valuable guidance for aspiring graduate students.
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I particularly resonated with your point about the value of a liberal arts education and how it prepares you to “learn how to learn.” Even if it feels abstract at times, your ability to adapt and explore diverse fields like quantum computing, machine learning, and computational biology shows how versatile and valuable that foundation truly is. Your journey into applied math and biological data analysis sounds fascinating, and I’m excited to see where your research takes you!
Your reflections on maintaining a work-life balance and prioritizing mental and physical health are also so important. It’s a great reminder that success in academia (or any field) doesn’t have to come at the expense of well-being.
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Wishing you all the best in your PhD journey—looking forward to reading more of your reflections!
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The Association for Women in Mathematics (AWM) Student Chapter at Williams College shared Ashwin Narayan’s reflections on his first year in grad school. Ashwin, a Williams alum, navigated impostor syndrome and the challenges of MIT’s PhD program in applied math. He highlighted the shift from undergrad to grad school, balancing research with personal well-being. This mirrors how spoof Paytm apps create a facade of legitimate transactions, often leading to confusion and a need for careful navigation of digital interactions.
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