All posts by john

John’s (un)Official Race Report: Special Williamstown Winter Weekend Edition

The Ephs-on-Wheels were all set to tear up the road this past weekend, when all of a sudden shocking and terrible news arrived via email: the Dirty Jerz was under water. If they wanted to race, they would have to bring a canoe.

Disheartened and frustrated by the lack of competitors to shell and spectators to wow, the Ephs could have just stayed in the Ark all weekend and bemoaned the lack of racing and sunny weather. But quick thinking on the part of Coach Cruz and Captain Lumby resulted in a Wonderful Williamstown Winter Wrace Weekend extravaganza.

On Saturday, time trialing up Petersburg Pass. Just like the Alpe d’Huez hill climb stage in the 2004 TdF, but more intense. Amy, Erik, Henry, John, and Todd all martyred themselves on the hill while Cruz sat comfortably in his warm Honda Element, giggling with malicious glee. If a jersey had been awarded for gratuitous drooling, Erik easily would have snagged it.

On Sunday, a battle of epic proportions against the elements. Coach Cruz led a small group of determined warriors on a sortie from the Ark which included killer climbs, sphincter-tightening descents, and a breakfast of snow and road salt. The Ephs staggered back into the ark three hours after leaving it, frozen, covered in mud, but filled with whatever the opposite of existential dread is.

To put things in perspective, the Yale ITT boasts of grades of around 15%. Rabbit College Road, arguably the main attraction of todays ride, has a section topping out at 25%. How’s that for steep, Yale?

Next weekend…nothing for the team. The ECCC schedule continues with the Philly Phlyer, which Amy may be attending, but which is pretty out of the way for most others. Erik, Ian, and John will be trekking down to South Carolina for the first week of spring break, showing those fools in the Williams Track Club that wheels are far superior to running shoes. Expect updates bragging of epic rides (can you say…century?), beautiful beach weather, and general tomfoolery.

John’s (un)Official Race Report: Rutgers Scarlet Scurry

The Williams College Cycling team journeyed to the Great State of New Jersey (“Welcome to Mahwah, the World Capitol of Hydraulic Bolting Tools”) this past weekend to participate in the ECCC Season Opener at Rutgers University.  Much has been said about the impressive numbers the Ephs posted in the various races, but the true, complete race experience simply defies quantification.  Highlights from the weekend include:

-The following, overhead in a gas station at 9pm on a Friday night, 20 minutes over the border into New Jersey from New York:

Woman (addressing cashier, and wearing a short black dress, 4 inch heels, and sunglasses)—“Honey, I haven’t seen you in a while!  You know why?  I was seeing this kid, you know.  But it turns out he’s married, overseas.  So you know what I did?  I took his credit card number and had myself a little shopping spree, and then I broke up with him.”  She was dead serious.

-The Courtyard by Marriot front desk staff, apparently worried that the team would throw a rager before waking up the next morning at 5:30 AM to ride a time trial, informing JJ of the strict no party policy.

-Waking up at 5:30AM to get ready for the ITT.  Gross.

-Amy taking her hands off the bars to wave at the team every time she went by during the tutorial laps for the intro crit.

-Coach Cruz’s two favorite things to yell during a race: “GET CLOSER TO THE WHEEL IN FRONT OF YOU” and “GO FASTER”.

-Todd earning his official BAMF credentials by booting during the Men’s D points race and not even getting off of his bike, then fighting his way back into the race after practically everyone got shelled by Ian’s first sprint.

-Ian eating an immense amount of food all the time.

-Todd teaching Henry and John how to drive like New Yorkers.

-The tent, which put up a valiant effort for 90 minutes but couldn’t handle the wind.

-JJ’s trustworthy GPS.

Next week, the Ephs once again make the trudge down to Dirty Jerz to participate in the Stevens Duck Country road race.

Pros of racing in New Jersey: less snow than Billsville at this point, drive is really not that bad, Bruce Springsteen is from there (also Ted Leo and the Pharmacists).

Cons of racing in New Jersey: having to spend time in New Jersey.

Another quick note: just in case you haven’t spent enough time staring at the official race results at velocityresults.com, check out http://www.road-results.com, which will analyze the race results and combine them with your racing history to produce a number of fascinating and entirely useless graphs and charts.  It will show you your nemeses and victims, and also allows you to predict race outcomes based on who has registered for a specific event on BikeReg.

That’s all for now.  Until next weekend.