{"id":554,"date":"2016-02-11T21:47:50","date_gmt":"2016-02-12T02:47:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/?p=554"},"modified":"2016-02-11T21:53:31","modified_gmt":"2016-02-12T02:53:31","slug":"story-5-whats-in-a-name-puns-probably","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/homework\/assignments-turned-in\/story-5-whats-in-a-name-puns-probably\/","title":{"rendered":"Story #5 ~ What’s in a name? Puns, probably."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Can<\/a>
Can anyone ever unlock the secrets of the Nicholas Cage?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

If you search for \u201cOmar Gouda\u201d on Facebook, you won\u2019t find me. Ever since I started my account back in 8th grade (It\u2019s fast! It\u2019s free! Sign up today!) I\u2019ve gone by the name Omar Swiss; most people assume it\u2019s a joke, but I actually chose the name specifically because it\u2019s <\/span>not<\/b> a joke according to Mr. Zuckerberg\u2019s automated name filter, which was programmed by the finest interns 2008 Facebook couldn\u2019t afford to pay. \u201cOmar Gouda\u201d apparently qualifies as a \u201cjoke or terrorist\u201d name, and so I\u2019ve been forced to betray my namesake cheese and live under the shameful shadow of the pseudonym Swiss. I\u2019ve seen one friend change her last name from Warren to Warhead ~ LITERALLY A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION ~ while Zuckerberg chuckled softly and approved the switch personally. Another friend changed her name from Kraft to Kraftmacncheese (all one word), which was especially insulting considering Zuckerberg privileges reanimated frankencheese sauces over proud, established cheeses like Gouda. Anyway, that\u2019s why my Facebook name is Omar Swiss, let\u2019s be friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Your name is Gouda?<\/span><\/p>\n

Gouda like the type of cheese?<\/span><\/p>\n

No, like the group of terrorist insurgents working to undermine comedy by funding Adam Sandler.<\/span><\/p>\n

….Yes, like the type of cheese.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are FIVE Omars at the golf course I work at over the Summer. I don\u2019t even think I\u2019ve met five Omars in passing in my entire life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Omar #1 is from Jamaica ~ he\u2019s mean.<\/span><\/p>\n

Omar #2 is also from Jamaica ~ he\u2019s much nicer, and also apparently very good at golf.<\/span><\/p>\n

Omar #3 is me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Omar #4 is from Mexico and is constantly trying to usurp my throne as third amongst Omars.<\/span><\/p>\n

Omar #5 is <\/span>also<\/b> from Jamaica, but he should be called Omar #420, in my opinion.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was very excited to read Island of the Blue Dolphins back in first grade because one of the characters is named Ramo, which is Omar backwards! Spoilers if you haven\u2019t read the book, but uh…Ramo doesn\u2019t do so well. Sad moments in great literature. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

People who have called me Oscar:<\/span><\/p>\n