{"id":537,"date":"2016-02-11T21:52:49","date_gmt":"2016-02-12T02:52:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/?p=537"},"modified":"2016-02-11T21:52:58","modified_gmt":"2016-02-12T02:52:58","slug":"story-1-kraft","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/uncategorized\/story-1-kraft\/","title":{"rendered":"Story #1 ~ \u00aeKraft\u2122"},"content":{"rendered":"

HI BILLY MAYS HERE<\/span><\/p>\n

FOR JUST $19.99 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019LL LEAVE YOU ALONE<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m really thirsty<\/span><\/p>\n

I sure would love a nice, cold\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H<\/span><\/p>\n

Pepsi Co. product<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m really thirsty<\/span><\/p>\n

I sure would love a nice, cold\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H<\/span><\/p>\n

Coca-cola drink<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m really thirsty<\/span><\/p>\n

I sure would love a nice, cold\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H<\/span><\/p>\n

Who\u2019s today\u2019s sponsor?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Troop morale is low.<\/span><\/p>\n

The men complain about soggy conditions.<\/span><\/p>\n

They refuse to raisin bran-dish their weapons.<\/span><\/p>\n

They are going cuckoo without Cocoa Puffs.<\/span><\/p>\n

They can\u2019t see an end to the conflict, nor can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Many are too busy Reeses Puff-puff passing to be an active part of a balanced breakfast.<\/span><\/p>\n

General Mills, what do you advise we do?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got a Target number of objects to make.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m beating my head against a Wal-mart, here.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, this is O-Kmart for now, I guess.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One taco bell, please<\/span><\/p>\n

Extra meat and extra cheese \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H<\/span><\/p>\n

Just like Mom made it!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Williams Dining Dissapoints Once More<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If I eat something<\/span><\/p>\n

Atop a very tall cliff \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H<\/span><\/p>\n

Is it high dining?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have a brilliant plan to build a skyscraper made entirely out of stacked pizzas<\/span><\/p>\n

So that I can finally say I\u2019ve experienced the upper crust<\/span><\/p>\n

All I need is a lot of dough<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It started with a two mediums for $5 each.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m up to a large and a side of cinna-stix.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t stop; it\u2019s the Dominoes effect.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If I bought this fried chicken dinner on my own<\/span><\/p>\n

(With only a small loan from my father)<\/span><\/p>\n

Why should I have to share it with anyone else?<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I\u2019m voting for Colonel Bernie Sanders.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been nauseous since we took off.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think the pilot is a clerk from the florist department? Or the butcher counter?<\/span><\/p>\n

The selection is pretty limited and things keep falling off the shelves when we hit turbulence.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why did I think it would be a good idea to go grocery shopping in the Price Chopper?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I walked in to the sight of melting cheese.<\/span><\/p>\n

And a melting counter\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0*stolen from my sister*<\/span><\/p>\n

And…clock\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Why did I go to the Salvador Deli?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m taking a class about making sandwiches.<\/span><\/p>\n

It costs 5 dollars to commute by Subway.<\/span><\/p>\n

Any recipes must be properly referenced and sauced.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our final grade is 10% attendance, 50% participation, and 40% Quiznos.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seems like an (Arby)system to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Go to White Castle<\/span><\/p>\n

An intern broke the sound board. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H<\/span><\/p>\n

We need new sliders.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Revolutionary Spoken Word Performance<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes I feel like a burrito<\/span><\/p>\n

Like I\u2019m so full of emotions<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019re oozing out because my parents didn\u2019t make me right<\/span><\/p>\n

And society just slapped a tin-foil wrapper on me <\/span><\/p>\n

And sold me to the man for $5.99<\/span><\/p>\n

Plus $2 for guac, but Gauntanamo for free.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR JUST $19.99 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H I\u2019LL LEAVE YOU ALONE   I\u2019m really thirsty I sure would love a nice, cold\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H Pepsi Co. product   I\u2019m really thirsty I sure would love a nice, cold\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H Coca-cola drink   I\u2019m really thirsty I sure would love a nice, cold\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0H Who\u2019s today\u2019s … Continue reading Story #1 ~ \u00aeKraft\u2122<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1212,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-assignments-turned-in","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1212"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=537"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/537\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":812,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/537\/revisions\/812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}