{"id":395,"date":"2016-02-09T11:34:56","date_gmt":"2016-02-09T16:34:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/?p=395"},"modified":"2016-02-09T12:27:22","modified_gmt":"2016-02-09T17:27:22","slug":"story-3-dont-forget-your-mission-thanks-yonce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/uncategorized\/story-3-dont-forget-your-mission-thanks-yonce\/","title":{"rendered":"Story 3: Don’t Forget Your Mission (Thanks Yonce)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mission 1: Get Clean<\/p>\n

Make sure you wash your hair and take a shower. Every piece of dirt will be noticeable from a mile away.<\/p>\n

\"Water<\/p>\n

Misson 2: Find Your Anthem<\/p>\n

Find a song that inspires confidence in you. Make sure it is one you can keep on repeat.<\/p>\n

\"Get<\/p>\n

Mission 3: Choose Your Best Outfit<\/p>\n

Anything that screams “I HAVE ARRIVED” seems the most appropriate (Search: spaghetti strap tank top with butterfly appliqu\u00e9.)<\/p>\n

\"Butterfly<\/p>\n

Mission 4: Beware of Adults<\/p>\n

Your parents may warn you about the “revealing” nature of said tank top. Do not take it personally. They are wrong and harbor jealousy of your fierceness.<\/p>\n

\"Fierce\"<\/p>\n

Mission 5: Arrive in Style<\/p>\n

Walk in to your crushes’ home in style. When in doubt, remember the three C’s: Stay calm, cool, and collected.<\/p>\n

\"Calm,<\/p>\n

Mission 6: Don’t Be Thrown Off By Your Friend Amy<\/p>\n

If you see your friend Amy at your crushes’ party, DO NOT be surprised and DO NOT get jealous. She was invited because she’s a cool kid, just like you.<\/p>\n

\"Cool<\/p>\n

Mission 7: If You Can’t Get His Attention<\/p>\n

Play some soft jazz on the piano. IMMEDIATELY<\/p>\n

\"Jazz\"<\/p>\n

Mission 8: When You Find Yourself on a\u00a0Rooftop by Yourself After Confronting Your Broken Heart<\/p>\n

…do not cry… yet. Only 1 more hour until you get home.<\/p>\n

\"Feet<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mission 1: Get Clean Make sure you wash your hair and take a shower. Every piece of dirt will be noticeable from a mile away. Misson 2: Find Your Anthem Find a song that inspires confidence in you. Make sure it is one you can keep on repeat. Mission 3: Choose Your Best Outfit Anything … Continue reading Story 3: Don’t Forget Your Mission (Thanks Yonce)<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":947,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/947"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=395"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":446,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions\/446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.williams.edu\/thea350-16s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}