This was supposed to be a night of debauchery.

I had to wait at every single intersection.

Why did I go to the red light district?

Giant jade dragon

Majestic beast of legends                H

Now sells me ramen

 

Man of LaMancha

Actually a penguin                          H

Who sells cheap candy

 

If I look foreign

Why ask me for directions?            H

At 3 A.M.

 

Upstairs McDonald’s

I missed the last train back home   H

So did everyone here

 

The rooms are so cheap!

I really love this hotel.                    H

I’ll ignore the stains.

 

This channel is news

This one is “Frozen” on loop         H

…And this one is porn.

 

I’m in the lobby

At the free soda machine                H

…You can’t make me leave

 

The condoms are free

But stereotypes are true                  H   

…I must be massive.

 

Sorry to decline

But JAPANESE WOMAN! SEX!   T

Is sloppy English

And I won’t be a part of

A scheme run with such grammar

 

I’m on the dance floor…

Never knew that clubs were full of    H

So many losers

 

Five dollars a shot?

That seems really expensive.             H

Guess I’ll stay sober.