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And I watched as my son hit the sea
And I wonder
Is there anyone to blame
But me?
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Story 3: Goodnight Soldier
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Story 2: Easter, 1996
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“Mommy, may I count these ducks?”
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Story 1: 3 Dates and a Wedding
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Story 5: The Interestings
Object 1: It?
What is ‘IT’ and how do I get it?
Object 2: What is talent, anyway?
Object 3: A lesson in calming the fuck down
Object 4: More questions
Where does unused talent go?
Object 5: Jules Jacobson, looking back.
Thirty years ago, I went to summer camp and I didn’t think I was good at anything. I was a run-of-the-mill kid: liked to be outside, didn’t like to go to school, didn’t have passions or talents of any kind. But then one day at camp they made me get up on stage and do some funny dance — some chicken dance or something…I was mortified. And — I can’t believe I still remember this, it’s been so long…decades…but I remember I heard people start laughing. And I could tell by the uproar that they were laughing with me and not at me… And then I got off the stage and sat back down… and thought, “Maybe, just maybe, I have a little bit of talent”. Back then, I made people laugh. But now? Now I’m a lawyer. Nothing funny about that. At all.
Story 4: Us
Object 1: The past
Who did we used to be to one another? I can’t remember now.
Object 2: A diagram of our love.
Object 3: Just maybe
Maybe we aren’t so different, you and I.
Object 4: Corinthians
Object 5: Fill in the blanks
I asked her not to leave me but she _____ anyway.
Object 6: Finality
Maybe ‘you’ plus ‘me’ doesn’t have to equal ‘us’ anymore.
Story 3: The Goldfinch
Object 1: Three little birds…
Object 2: A belief.
Art chooses us.
Object 3: Googly eyes
Object 4: Big bird
Object 5: Death and the Golden Square
Object 6: Water in glass
Object 7: A love for things, not people.
Sorrow comes to those who love to deeply.
Story 2: L O L I T A
Object 1: What you find when you go looking..
Object 2: Calling All Nymphets
Object 3: Bow and Hat Drive Away
Object 4: So the story goes.
A pre-pubescent particularly precocious pretty piques the interest of an imaginative and intellectual introvert.
Object 5 : Hotels Across the Country
Object 6: One version of the story
“Touch me”, he said.
So she did.
Object 7: The other version.
“Touch me”, she said.
So he did.
Object 8: Little pink bow
Object 9: You know…
Object 10: A man and his daughter walk into a bar..
Object 11: In Her Room
Object 12 : Socks Dance
Object 13 : A Visitor
Object 14 : And the rest was rust and stardust.
Object 15: But…
But love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is–
Object 16: Girl in Glass
Object 17: List
Shoelaces
Ribbon
Bubble gum
Licorice
Fingernails
Grass stains
Jump rope
Eyelashes
Lollipops
Hotel rooms
Object 18: Annabel Lee
Object 19: The playground.
Object 20: LL MM
Object 21: Motives by HH
I’ve taken her away. But not to worry, for I love her. And she, me.
Object 22 : Speaks for itself.
There’s some purity in perversion, too.
Story 1: Obsessive. Compulsive.
Object 1: Pure O
In my own words: “Pure O” is a branch of OCD in which the sufferer experiences severe intrusive thoughts. The thoughts are often egodystonic, meaning they are unwanted thoughts that go against the beliefs, truths, or desires of the sufferer. The cycle of obsessive thinking interferes with day-to-day function and well-being.
Object 2: My OCD is not…
- A love of cleaning and organizing.
- A desire to wash my hands a million times a day.
- Flicking the lights on and off all day.
- Tapping walls or floors.
- A love of the all-too-trendy phrase “I’m so OCD”
*The above may be experiences of certain people with OCD, but they are not mine.
Object 3: My OCD IS…
- Compulsive checking — of things you wouldn’t believe. Spoons, tops to pens, hair ties, straws, loose change, backs to earrings, bottle caps…..
- A paralyzing fear of making the wrong decision.
- A need to write and
eraseand rewrite anderaseuntil the word ‘feels’ right. - An avoidance of bad or scary words.
- The feeling that negative or malicious thoughts get stuck in my head.
Object 4: The Hypochondriac at Her Worst.
…I’m sure it’s nothing, but I better check WebMD just in case…
Object 5: Irrationalities
I think I swallowed that pen. I can feel it in my throat. It’s choking me. Help, please help me. Please God help me.
Object 6: The stove.
Are you sure I didn’t leave the stove on? Stove on? Is the stove on? Are you sure I didn’t leave the stove on? But what if the stove’s on? I think the stove’s on. I think the stove is on. Oh no. Don’t let the stove be on. I definitely left the stove on. I know I left the stove on.
Goes and checks that the stove is not on. Walks away. Beat.
Are you sure I didn’t leave the stove on?
Object 7: Sensorimotor Obsessions
Have you ever thought about what would happen if you just…forgot to breathe? I think that happens to me all the time. So I have to remind myself to breathe. Otherwise I’m scared I might just..stop.
Object 8: Pencil Nightmares
Object 9: The (mostly downward) spiral.
Object 10: Finally.
It’s here. It’s definitely sticking around. Lucky for me, though, it cyclically, compulsively, obsessively waxes and wanes. So I look forward to better days.