Object 1 – Eating Acrobatics
Object 2 – The Train Effect
When I first rode a subway in New York City, I wondered why anyone could – or would – fall asleep onboard. Wouldn’t they miss their stop? Wouldn’t they risk getting pickpocketed? To a foreigner, it may seem strange to sleep in such a high-stakes, high-strung environment. But, a true New Yorker understands that getting rest in the city that never sleeps is a necessity – no, a requirement – if you wish to keep up with its unrelenting pace.
Object 3 – Bloodlines
Object 4 – Double Dutch
New York, New York
A city so great that it got to be named twice. Is that too much? Seems a little aggressive to have the same name twice. In a row.
But I’m not one to talk…
Object 5 – The Big Appple
Object 6 – Musing on Mini-vans
Mini-vans get a bad reputation. Every time you think of them all you see are soccer moms, loud children, messy post-soccer-practice seats, errands, and other banal things. But mini-vans are an untapped source of spontaneity and adventure. All you have to do is get creative and the possibilities are endless. You can achieve whatever you want with a mini-van.
Cross-country road trip? Mini-van.
Late night biscuit run? Mini-van.
Secret 3am rendezvous? Mini-van.
The mini-van: it’s not just for soccer moms anymore.
Object 7 – A Few Lame Jokes
What do you get when you put a biscuit and a mini-van together? A midnight road trip.
Why did the biscuit cross the road? It didn’t. I did.
Three kids walk into the bar… They get kicked out because they’re too young so they go buy biscuits instead.
Object 8 – INSTRUCTIONS FOR APPLYING TO BECOME A NEW YORKER
Part I
She’s a tricky one, New York. You cannot simply wake up one morning and discover that you have become a New Yorker. Of course, she isn’t a picky one – anyone is welcome to become a New Yorker. But, it is by no means an easy task. Becoming one is a matter of feeling. It’s a matter of understanding. It’s a matter of listening.
Do you understand? Yes ____ No ____
Object 9 – INSTRUCTIONS FOR APPLYING TO BECOME A NEW YORKER, CONT’D
Part II
To be a New Yorker means to feel the city coursing through your blood stream. A true New Yorker is everywhere at once – all day, every day. A New Yorker breathes, eats, and sleeps in The City. Even when they are away from the Big Apple, a New Yorker is still within.
In a well-composed essay of 500 words or less, describe how it feels to be away from New York City. Your thoughts should be well-organized, clearly laid out for the reader, and should consist of entirely your own work.
Object 10 – A Terrible Attempt at Recreating a MetroCard
