Object 1 – Eating Acrobatics

Object 2 – The Train Effect

When I first rode a subway in New York City, I wondered why anyone could – or would – fall asleep onboard. Wouldn’t they miss their stop? Wouldn’t they risk getting pickpocketed? To a foreigner, it may seem strange to sleep in such a high-stakes, high-strung environment. But, a true New Yorker understands that getting rest in the city that never sleeps is a necessity – no, a requirement – if you wish to keep up with its unrelenting pace.

Object 3 – Bloodlines

Object 4 – Double Dutch

New York, New York

A city so great that it got to be named twice. Is that too much? Seems a little aggressive to have the same name twice. In a row.

But I’m not one to talk…

Object 5 – The Big Appple

Object 6 – Musing on Mini-vans

Mini-vans get a bad reputation. Every time you think of them all you see are soccer moms, loud children, messy post-soccer-practice seats, errands, and other banal things. But mini-vans are an untapped source of spontaneity and adventure. All you have to do is get creative and the possibilities are endless. You can achieve whatever you want with a mini-van.

Cross-country road trip? Mini-van.

Late night biscuit run? Mini-van.

Secret 3am rendezvous? Mini-van.

The mini-van: it’s not just for soccer moms anymore.

 

Object 7 – A Few Lame Jokes

What do you get when you put a biscuit and a mini-van together? A midnight road trip.

Why did the biscuit cross the road? It didn’t. I did.

Three kids walk into the bar… They get kicked out because they’re too young so they go buy biscuits instead.

 

Object 8 –  INSTRUCTIONS FOR APPLYING TO BECOME A NEW YORKER

Part I

She’s a tricky one, New York. You cannot simply wake up one morning and discover that you have become a New Yorker. Of course, she isn’t a picky one – anyone is welcome to become a New Yorker. But, it is by no means an easy task. Becoming one is a matter of feeling. It’s a matter of understanding. It’s a matter of listening.

Do you understand? Yes ____ No ____

 

Object 9 – INSTRUCTIONS FOR APPLYING TO BECOME A NEW YORKER, CONT’D

Part II

To be a New Yorker means to feel the city coursing through your blood stream. A true New Yorker is everywhere at once – all day, every day. A New Yorker breathes, eats, and sleeps in The City. Even when they are away from the Big Apple, a New Yorker is still within.

In a well-composed essay of 500 words or less, describe how it feels to be away from New York City. Your thoughts should be well-organized, clearly laid out for the reader, and should consist of entirely your own work.

 

Object 10 – A Terrible Attempt at Recreating a MetroCard