W, Woman Class of 2018
\nInterview Transcript
\n(Filler words like \u201cum\u201d and \u201cyou know\u201d have been omitted)<\/p>\n
Sharldine Desire: First question. When did you start singing gospel music and why?<\/strong> SD: Okay so those are all the official questions, but now let\u2019s talk in more detail about this past concert. Just like in this particular one, how it was like being on stage, how it felt singing your solo, how the audience reacted and the importance of that in the moment\u2026just kind of reminisce, take me there\u2014for you.<\/strong> Word Count: 2,722<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" W, Woman Class of 2018 Interview Transcript (Filler words like \u201cum\u201d and \u201cyou know\u201d have been omitted) Sharldine Desire: First question. When did you start singing gospel music and why? W: Singing gospel music? Okay so when I first actually … Continue reading
\nW: Singing gospel music? Okay so when I first actually started singing it was definitely when\u2026ahh that\u2019s hard! Singing it like in a choir?
\nSD: Just singing it\u2026<\/strong>
\nW: See also hard. Cuz growing up, when I think about the songs that we sang a church\u2014we did mostly hymns\u2014I grew up in a Haitian church where the fire wasn\u2019t lit unless the youth choir was singing it\u2026 so basically everything was like: (sings somberly in French) and if the youth choir came up then they were singing something hot and very loud and all the granmoun\u2014the older people\u2014were like \u201cOh gosh, the noise!\u201d And the way the church was separated was that they spoke Cr\u00e9ole and French upstairs and if you spoke English you were banished to the basement and that\u2019s where we had service. So as a child I was considered an English speaker because I was born here and my parents weren\u2019t and down there we sang a lot of those church songs that you know growing up\u2026and by you I mean the black kid who grows up in church. That\u2019s where I learned the \u201cThis Little Light of Mine,\u201d \u201cVictory,\u201d \u201cThe Victory Chant,\u201d and all those songs\u2014that\u2019s where I learned those. So if you wanna go in that sense, I\u2019ve technically been singing it since I was like three. But in terms of organized choir singing\u2026I sang at a choir when I got to high school at a different church and it still wasn\u2019t gospel music. We pulled out one or two gospel songs but we were primarily like remixing Travis Cotrell and he\u2019s like contemporary worship. Either that or some really low-key gospel songs\u2014like we sang \u201cGrateful\u201d by Hezekiah, we sang \u201cI Won\u2019t Go Back,\u201d we sang \u201cHallelujah Salvation and Glory,\u201d but we weren\u2019t about to go out there and sing \u201cHosana,\u201d we weren\u2019t about to go up there and sing some Tye Tribbett. So when I say like actually started singing gospel music, like Tasha Cobbs and all that stuff, was when I came to college and joined the gospel choir.
\nSD: So did you like it right away, gospel music? And what about it kept your interest or made you stay singing?<\/strong>
\nW: So honestly, like I said, the whole sha-bang of gospel music and singing it was when I came to gospel choir and it wasn\u2019t necessarily that I liked the music\u2014I actually preferred CCM\u2014I really like slower music, lighter music. I grew up on hymns so I like hymns but what happened was\u2026I liked singing about Jesus and I liked the people, I liked the environment, I liked singing in a choir and that\u2019s what kept me staying and now I listen to so much more gospel music than I would before. So yeah do I wanna say that I liked the music immediately? I wanna say that it was more than the music that I liked about gospel music.
\nSD: So kind of related\u2026why did you want to join\u2014or why did you join\u2014gospel choir at Williams?<\/strong>
\nW: I knew that I wanted to sing it in school and my whole life I\u2019ve been singing about Jesus and in my experience with God\u2026I don\u2019t really see another reason to sing so that\u2019s what I wanted to sing about. When I found that here, there was no way I was going to do anything else.
\nSD: How do you think being a part of gospel choir has impacted your life here so far?<\/strong>
\nW: I\u2019m not gonna lie\u2026gospel choir may have saved my life. When things were very very very very hard for me last fall, there were like\u2014I can think of two groups of people that made it so that I didn\u2019t do really bad things\u2026and one was gospel choir. It was amazing that\u2014I\u2019m sure some people noticed that I was down or whatever but I felt better at gospel choir than I felt anywhere else on campus. It\u2019s where I am the most myself\u2026so can I say that it impacted me? Definitely! Like I said it basically saved me from being worse\u2014from the worst of the worst.
\nSD: How do you interact with gospel music outside of the choir?<\/strong>
\nW: For a long time gospel music was considered noise in my house so coming to college and making my own playlists and stuff\u2026I really came to appreciate it more in my daily listening. It gets me hype\u2026I feel like I can fall deeper into the spirit sometimes when I listen to it. The repetition is very necessary for meditation on scripture and sometimes its what it takes to actually bring you into your feels kinda thing\u2026in a way that CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) can\u2019t do. Like it\u2019s a verse chorus verse chorus and I\u2019m like alright the words are beautiful, I can read it like a poem, but when it comes to gospel music, there\u2019s something about the melody, there\u2019s something about the simplicity, there\u2019s something about the repetition that touches my heart like a psalm can. So yeah outside of the choir, I do listen to it\u2026it\u2019s a great way to get exposed to a part of something that I didn\u2019t grow up with, a part of something that when people look at me they assume that I\u2019m a part of it. And maybe I wasn\u2019t a part of it growing up but now I understand a little bit what people associate me and my skin color with and my background with so that\u2019s cool. But yeah like I said, it helps me get places.
\nSD: What do you think is the difference between when you\u2019re interacting with gospel music on your own and when we\u2019re learning and performing with gospel choir?<\/strong>
\nW: Hmm those are three different questions\u2026
\nSD: Okay, let\u2019s start with learning.<\/strong>
\nW: Okay so learning gospel music\u2026in my experience, in every \u201cblack choir\u201d that I\u2019ve been in, we don\u2019t use sheet music. You learn by hearing. You\u2019re not expected to know how to read sheet music or even know how to read for that matter. It can be kind of frustrating. There\u2019s a lot of repetition, there\u2019s a lot of uncertainty, there\u2019s a lot of learning to train your ear. I\u2019m sure that professional choirs read, I don\u2019t think that Trey McLaughlin and those people are like \u201cLet\u2019s just find a note!\u201d I don\u2019t think they\u2019re doing that but when I think of church choir, gospel choir\u2026learning it\u2026it\u2019s a stressful situation. Learning it is stress which is so interesting because when we all just happen to know a song it\u2019s so much different. I think about our prayer circle at the end when we\u2019re all just singing in unison and just doing our own thing and it\u2019s a completely different feel from learning it.
\nSD: For real\u2026do you like the performance aspect of gospel choir?<\/strong>
\nW: So at first I didn\u2019t because I was so scared. Part of the reason why I shy away from doing things like leading worship is because I have a hard time detaching being in front of an audience and worshipping or praising and getting in that place. So at first it was really hard, but over time I feel like I\u2019ve been learning that there is a power in praise whenever you do it. And when it came to performing with GC, especially to get over my nerves, oh my gosh. Like the crazy thing about me is that if you ask me to sing a secular song in front of an audience, I\u2019m all for it. I don\u2019t care if I mess up. But when it comes to singing a gospel song for God in front of an audience, I\u2019m suddenly very very very self-conscious. So with GC I learned to really get in touch with the words, with the lyrics, with the spirit while on stage\u2014that was a big deal for me. And there\u2019s something really powerful in being able to do that because it\u2019s actually very personal. It\u2019s like inviting somebody into your praise; it\u2019s inviting someone into your vulnerability. Cuz singing gospel music is a very vulnerable act for me, it\u2019s a part of my relationship with God. So at first I didn\u2019t like it but it\u2019s really, actually teaching me to grow, and it\u2019s opening my mind to possibilities of maybe leading worship one day. Like maybe I can do that and maybe I can help people really praise.
\nSD: So how do you think it\u2019s read here at Williams? Like how do you think our audience reads our performance of gospel?<\/strong>
\nW: You know, I wanna be really nice about it. I wanna say things like \u201cI think they feel the spirit\u2026\u201d I do actually feel like they do\u2014people are always somehow very blessed by our performance even though we come off and we\u2019re like \u201cthat note was off\u201d or \u201cyou guys didn\u2019t take my cue for that part,\u201d but people always come up to you saying \u201coh my gosh, I felt it right here in my heart.\u201d So I think it\u2019s genuine that people are moved by our performances and I don\u2019t think that\u2019s a mistake in any kind of way\u2014the power of God is amazing\u2014and I think there is something to be said like for me personally as a Christian, this gospel choir really being the only group on campus really proclaiming the name of Jesus, I don\u2019t think it was gonna sound bad in any kind of way to other people\u2026but I still think that when people come and see us, there\u2019s kind of like this spectacle thing where it\u2019s like \u201cMmm reminding me of my childhood,\u201d or \u201cWow that\u2019s so good, so much energy out there\u2026something we don\u2019t see all the time.\u201d Sometimes I feel like it can be a cultural spectacle. Like there\u2019s a reason we\u2019re very linked up with the Africana Studies department, right? There\u2019s somehow that link between black music and entertainment in a sense. So that can be a struggle, on this campus at least, knowing that a lot of the time we are the token for things rather than being sought after for our sound or our praise. But I\u2019m almost okay with that because I mean\u2026if it gets heard, it gets heard. And maybe one day\u2014and that is something we\u2019re all working on in every facet of black proliferation\u2014maybe we can be looked at one day with less placating appreciation and more awe and admiration. Like more of that feeling and less of that \u201cAww, that\u2019s so nice.\u201d
\nSD: So kind of leading into that, what role do you think gospel music has played throughout history in the black community?<\/strong>
\nW: If you look at the history of gospel music, you will happen upon the struggle of black people over time. Those two things\u2026one came out of the other. There\u2019s a reason, a lot of songs get blurred as Negro Spirituals as well as gospel music. There\u2019s also the fact that for a long time, this was the only way that black people could express themselves through music. Even if you read like Notes of a Native Son, James Baldwin makes a very interesting point where he says that for so long, the black voice, the Negro in America could only tell part of his story and it was through music, it was through jazz and it was through entertainment. So I really think that gospel music was a way of communication, as well as unification across the nation. Like if you think of back in the day, my brain is at the 1920s, the radio was a big thing. It was very important; people were listening across the country. And if someone were able to hear a jazz voice or a Negro spiritual or Rosetta Thorpe singing on the radio about an experience that you shared, that\u2019s kind of letting people across the nation know that you had similar experiences. It somehow united black people across the nation and forged a sense of community. There\u2019s also the black church. For so long that was the only thing black people had onto themselves, a place where they were able to share each other\u2019s presence in that community without being monitored or segregated so that\u2019s a big deal, I think.
\nSD: Do you think it still plays that same role in the black community, or similar roles?<\/strong>
\nW: In the United States\u2026like it [gospel] kind of does this thing where it reminds people of their morality or it reminds them of the church that their grandmother grew up in\u2026but when I think about black people today in America there are so many people who\u2019ve never set foot in a church, never heard a gospel lyric, or are like very distinctly Muslim. They don\u2019t associate with gospel music at all. So I wanna say\u2026I wish it had more of an impact but now it\u2019s kind of become that thing like when that gospel song breaks out\u2014like when Tamela Mann came out with \u201cTake Me To The King\u201d or Kirk Franklin came out with \u201cImagine Me\u201d or \u201cLooking For You\u201d\u2014that one broke BET, that\u2019s how serious it was and everybody was just like \u201cAyyye Jesus!\u201d So it does do that thing where it reminds people of their childhood, it uplifts them\u2026I wish it had more of an impact. I think it has less of an impact now than it did before\u2014like entertainment with a reminder of things passed.
\nSD: So how about outside that community, like for non-blacks? What does gospel music mean or what role does it play, if any?<\/strong>
\nW: I don\u2019t think I can fully answer that question since I\u2019m not part of a community that is not the black community but I look at people like Martha Munizi\u2014like gospel music is not just for black people, it\u2019s an element of praise that just happens to be\u2014nope, not just happens\u2014very importantly linked with black history. But yeah I don\u2019t know\u2026there does seem to be that sort of outside looking in thing\u2026but I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
\nW: I spoke before about how singing was a very vulnerable act for me so I get nervous every single time\u2014this is like my third or fourth gospel choir concert and I\u2019ve actually had a solo every time. This time was actually a little different for me. It really helped with my move towards praising in the midst of performance struggle that I\u2019m dealing with cuz I was singing \u201cHallelujah Salvation and Glory\u201d and that\u2019s a song that I\u2019ve been singing for years so I was able to lose myself more in the song and I can distinctly remember this moment where\u2014like during practice I\u2019m so at ease with everyone else and that\u2019s why I don\u2019t pay attention to anything ya\u2019ll tell me during practice cuz I\u2019m like \u201cya\u2019ll think this is how it\u2019s going to sound on concert day, you are wrong! I know me and its not how it\u2019s going to be.\u201d So during practice I\u2019m able, every single time to enter the praise zone and I was trying so hard to do it and then I was like \u201cW, stop trying, just sing.\u201d And I remember I lifted my hands in the middle of the solo and what I had to do was draw my hands back in\u2014and I remember this moment because I opened my eyes\u2014I drew my hands back in because they were shaking, I could see them shaking. I was like \u201cthis isn\u2019t practice where you\u2019re comfortable with everyone, you\u2019re a little vulnerable right now so I had to bring the song\u2014I don\u2019t know how to say it\u2014like into me and it helped a little bit. I still need to work on being closer to the mic, I\u2019ve realized because I\u2019m a little scared of the mic\u2026<\/p>\n