Category Archives: 12 AM thoughts

I know I’ve said it before, but pass/fail DOES NOT equal less work. On the contrary, it seems like even more, or maybe that’s just the natural progression of the semester. I feel like I’ve been taking online quizzes and exams and writing every day for the past week, and there is no end in sight!!! Agh!!! Professors love to blab on about “unprecedented circumstances” yet continue to assign things at a blazing clip? I know I sound whine-y, but I have friends who are genuinely struggling because school work is not their first priority right now. And even though you can reach out, it’s hard to admit that you can’t keep up and some people might not be comfortable enough to do so. Anyways, I hope professors are getting feedback from students and adjusting the difficulty accordingly!

It was fun while it lasted. This morning, Abu and I received the following email from OSL (Office of Student Life).

It was brought to our attention that you are using the second floor common room in Sage, E208 to study and socialize. We were informed that you have moved two desk and personal belongings into this space and appear to be sharing it. Please put the desks back where they were originally located and return any personal belongings to your rooms. In addition, be mindful of the guidelines set forth by the College for students who remain on campus, which can be reviewed here: https://www.williams.edu/coronavirus/on-campus-students-faq/

Specifically, “As strange as it sounds, the best rule for social distancing is to act as if everyone around you is sick and keep your distance accordingly.”

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

They don’t explicitly state why we can’t use it, but I guess it’s implied because we need to practice social distancing? Which doesn’t make sense from a practical point of view because we’re effectively acting like a family now. We only go to the same places at the same time (Driscoll) so if one of us gets it, chances are the other does too even with social distancing. And would you even socially distance yourself from members of your family? But I guess it makes sense from a PR point of view in case something does happen. Oh well. We’ll move the desks but they can’t stop us from eating with family at least!

Today, students on campus got an email regarding our summer plans. If we have to, we can continue to stay on campus for the whole summer (or a part of it) until the fall semester! But here’s the catch: you can’t leave the Berkshire County, just like it is right now. I discussed this with my mom, and we eventually agreed that it’d be safer for me to stay here / with a US friend until the situation in my home country got better. Which is when? Who knows! I love making big life decisions with incomplete information 😛 The problem with going back is that there’s a very real possibility that I won’t be able to return for the fall with increased restrictions on travel. But will there even be a fall semester? Aggggghhhhhhhh

It seems futile to think about future plans — next semester’s courses, next summer’s internships, jobs, careers, life — in the face of “unprecedented times.” What’s the point? I think of all the graduating seniors who had plans for their first job, students with grand plans of managing time better and having fun in the spring, kids planning out which concerts to go to. All of it, vanished. Yet cruelly, we’re forced to make them anyhow without even a guarantee that it’ll go through.

I was talking to some upperclassmen today, who were trying to dispel wisdom on me about which classes to take and which study-abroads and winter studies are the most fun. And I could only think about how that might be true right now, but what if it’s not one, two years down the road? I thought going to Williams would set me up for life, and I see people acting as if it will, but in reality, you never know what could happen. A part of me realizes that it’s unproductive to think about all the what-ifs and scare myself into indecision, but I can’t help it. I guess all I can do it have a (naively) optimistic view and live on.

It was a nice day outside, so Abu and I decided to go on a run. Not down Cole Field though, that’s been done before. Instead, we made our way eastbound along Route 2, towards Dunkin. America Runs on Dunkin amirite. After ~15 minutes in, we found a patch of field on our left, so we decided to explore. It seemed like a natural park — there was a trail and some kids were biking by on it. Worried that we’d get lost if we went even further, we chose the trail leading back towards campus. There were a couple of puddles we had to jump and skip over, but we made it through! Immediately after it opened up to a sprawling field of green — the road shrouded by the trees. The sun seemed to outshine all the school work looming above. I’m glad to have witnessed Williamstown springtime, and for those who haven’t yet, I hope you do soon.

I was calling my friend at a state school the other day, and apparently they only have one week left of classes! Which makes sense if you think about it, because they didn’t have a Winter Study and started spring semester a month earlier than us. But that means we only have a little over a month of school left. I still have midterms going on this week so I guess it’s non-stop testing until mid-May 🙁

I want this to slow down so I can (try to) enjoy my quarantined life here, and I don’t even want to think about the seniors leaving. I know people have it worse and all, but I just feel hopeless being robbed of a “normal” freshman year. There was so much I wanted to do and so much I hadn’t planned for but was excited to naturally happen. Things aren’t going to return completely back to what they were, but I sure hope fall ushers in a sense of hope and excitement.

I miss my entry :(((

When I joined our Zoom entry snacks, Papa (my JA) and Ilana (also my JA) were the only ones there. It was nice seeing their faces again and catching up. Slowly, other people started trickling in but I was the only one with a snack on hand (I think). We just talked about the usual: the weather, the corona, our work, plans for summer and wild unsubstantiated speculation about the situation going forward.

Apparently Zoom has private messages! Kinda cool. I guess it’s an alright alternative to breaking up in smaller groups to talk — which is what naturally happens in physical entry snacks — because sometimes I don’t want to talk about TV shows or something. I still love them though. Also, I downloaded the Chrome web extension for Zoom (previously I just did in-browser) so I can see everyone on a grid, and it worked like a charm! If you don’t want China spying on you, it’s a great replacement to downloading the native app. #staysafeonlineandoffline

Today, Abu and I decided to renovate my croom into a proper living / working area. Now we have: two full sets of study desks, three sofas, a dining table, two ambient lamps + xmas lights, two sick posters of J Cole and Chance the Rapper, and one fake flower. What more can you ask for?

It started off as just an area for me to work, with the original three sofas and my desk moved in. But we quickly realized it was a prime location to eat our meals together, so we borrowed a table from another croom and added the fake flower. This continued for a couple of weeks, until Abu wanted a working space too. Usually he goes to SSB (South Science Building), but it’s kinda far and you have to lug your books with you. By permanently relocating to “The Office” upstairs, we can productively work together in a nice environment. Right now he’s preparing for his chem midterm, and I, being the tired boy I am, am just dreaming of going to bed. Goodnight 🙂

I guess we never escaped them 😔 Yesterday morning, I woke up to a surprise email that my 24 hour midterm for philosophy was released. Kids, pay attention. This is what happens when you don’t watch the lecture videos. I didn’t want to leave it until last minute so I spent all of today doing it. 1200 word essays x 3. Yikes. It was a lesson in how to quickly retrieve past information from the depths of my dusty brain, how to continuously type streams of consciousness (but not ~too~ streamy) for hours on end, and how to actually FOCUS without getting distracted (a miracle, really). I think I’ve far surpassed my daily word count limit so I don’t have much else to say, except I’m glad I can stop thinking about Descartes now.

I had the misconception that classes switching to pass/fail would mean less work overall. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case. In a way, not that there’s not strict time schedule, it seems like there’s even more work because it’s diffused into everyday life. It doesn’t help that I study right near where I sleep and eat, and basically spend 90% of the time. Checking your phone for a quick message turns into a 30 min scroll through Instagram, eating while listening to lecture only to realize you haven’t actually taken in a single word, the list goes on and on. This week, I effectively chunked out my time in units of days and not hours (two days ago I was outside the entire time hiking + tossing, and today I’ve been working all day). I justified that as taking advantage of the insanely varied weather Willytown has been getting recently, but maybe it was just procrastination? Either way, I don’t think it’s a sustainable way to remotely learn, so I gotta learn how to keep myself accountable on time starting next week.